Easter Monday sees the first of the untippable public holiday jumble sales that the April of BUML is well known for. A bit like State of Origin time in the NRL, this time of year sees previously unstoppable teams seemingly stumble as key players jaunt off to Bluesfest, Uni Holidays or clinics for people who binge way too much on very cheap chocolate, because they have jobs now and can afford to live out the dreams of their childhood (cf that time Megz purchased half her body weight in chocolate, for a laugh). And of course, this sees your weekly preview coming out a bit early too, as your ever-loving blue-eyed blogger high-tails it to a secret location where such magic as the interwebz and time to write rubbish are unknown.
**Division 1 –Superman**
>>White Lantern vs Poachers – Annerley 3B
It has been up and down for White Lantern so far this season – loss, win, loss, win. But perhaps last week’s facial rearrangement of the Ghost Who Walks will prove to be a turning point? Probably not, as the Poachers appear to have coalesced into a solid dark-horse unit – with J-Mac providing the fried spinach that’s always been missing. Now, can they find the hollandaise sauce to be just right? Expect the shabby Heroes Ultimate Blog treehouse, in its continuous attempts to upstage us here with its own previews, to tip wrongly as usual.
>Our Tip: Poachers by 2.
>>Dyspnoeics vs UQ Lovers – Easts 1
Some view this as a possible Division 1 Grand Final preview. Others as an extension of the lengthy and slightly painful teenage blue-light disco flirting experience that you’d have thought they’d have all grown out of by now, but darn it they haven’t and you can’t turn away. Still, this is one of the more anticipated games of the round, you can expect the Mansauce/Goose smack-talk to quadruple the number of comments we usually get her on the previews. “You’re cruisin’ for a bruisin’.” “You’re bleatin’ for a beatin’.” "You're yankin' for a spankin'". “You’re oblivatin’ for a discombobulatin’.” That kind of stuff. When it comes to tipping though, there’ll likely be a few UQ players who don’t turn up, so we’ll be giving this one to the Blue D’s.
>Our Tip: Dyspnoeics by 5.
>>Drop Bears vs The Ghost Who Walks – Gap 2
If you missed it, after this Round everyone in Division 1 will have played each other once. This particular game is going to be a fracking great match, with a level of desperation comparable to being at Fridays when they turn the lights on (the fluros!), put ‘Oh What a Night’ on the jukebox, and tell everyone to go home.
>Our Tip: Drop Bears by 1.
**Division 2 – Batman**
>>Baby Chimis vs Heroes – Annerley 3A
You may have heard of Alan Kohler. He’s the finance guy for the ABC. He’ll be watching this game this week, we reckon. Why? Well, any sensible and close watchers of Ultimate Frisbee finance and the Machiavellian machinations of the Queensland Ultimate Disc Association will be looking for any stray eyebrow twitches or secret plays of “Sell sell sell!” and “Pork Bellies – that’s where the money is!”, as the current QUDA Treasurer’s team takes on the former QUDA Treasurer’s team. Will one reveal which bed the brown paper bags are under? Will the other cut long for a higher risk matrix rate? Who knows what bizarre sources of income and expenditure will be involved? We’re not sure, but we do think this game will reveal who’s Paul Keating, and who’s Peter Costello.
>Our Tip: Heroes by 2 base points.
>>Tsunami vs Disc-Iples
From what our agents in the field tell us, Tsunami not only swamped the Orange ones last week, they held them underwater until the last bubble of air escaped, before using the corpse as some sort of marine piñata and planktonising it. But if anyone’s going to stand up to that kind of treatment and ask for more, it’s the valiant and badly-named Disc-Iples, who variously claim to ‘cut on water’ and be able to do the ‘fishes and the discs’ trick. Still … it does seem Eric and Co have finally outgrown indoor.
>Our Tip: Tsunami by 6.
>>Bermuda Triangle vs Discheads – Easts 3
BATTLE! Is this going to be the Division 2 Grand Final preview? The Discheads would certainly like to talk it (and their chances) up. They’re kind of like the Oasis of this game, if you know your mid-90’s Brit-pop wars. That would make Bermuda Triangle like Blur, except that they’re more like The Smiths. Frankly Mr Shankley indeed.
>Our Tip: Bermuda Triangle by 2.
>> What the Huck? vs Agent Orange – Gap 1
Can someone from the HUC imperial dome drop into the comments and tell us what the huck has happened to Agent Orange? Once they were easy to tip – winners. Now … well, I guess they’re still easy to tip. What the Huck? meanwhile keep on whatting and hucking, with a bit of theeing in between. Bit like that movie. "You're thor? I'm tho thor I can hardly pith."
**Division 3 – Wonder Woman**
>>Apostles vs QUTies - Annerley 5A
The Apostles have been rampaging across Division 3 like one of them cat-based Game-of-Thrones memes you see on the internet sometimes. With the caps lock on. The QUTies meanwhile remain somewhat ‘under construction’, with varying parts turning up some weeks and not others. Easter will be tough on them. Expect the Apostles to overwhelm with numbers.
>Our Tip: Apostles by 2.
>>Mellow Yellow vs Yeast - Annerley 5B
This should be an amazing and slightly awkward match up. The Yeast are comparable to a force of athletic nature – all big, fit and hard running youth mixed with the near total absence of throwing skills and tactics that new players bring to the pitch. Whereas Mellow Yellow are all throwing skills, tactics and beer drinking that all sensible players bring to the pitch. Hopefully Yeast will remember to bring some money so they can buy a second or possibly even a third disc for the team, and Mellow Yellow Supremo Rob will bring a nice selection with him.
>Our Tip: Mellow Yellow by 4.
>>Griffith Go-Go’s vs Griffith Yee Hars - Griffith 1
The second week of Griffith derbies, and while they came second against the Oh Yeahs, the Yee Hars (or is that Haws?) really started to click last Monday night, before going down. The Go-Go’s will be fairly vulnerable this week, as key players go bushwalking, looking for great drugs south of the border, or some other rubbish activity that doesn’t involve playing Ultimate on a Monday night. Still, we slipped Jordiii a dodgy chocolate rabbit, and this might slow his spamburgery ass down a bit.
>Our Tip: Griffith Go-Go’s by 2.
>>Griffith Oh Yeahs vs Slipped Discs - Griffith 2
The Griffith Oh Yeahs have really come of age in their third season, due to some careful recruiting and Brad not turning up so often. On the table, we’re giving them dark horse status, as they’ve now won two in a row, and their other two games were a draw with powerhouse Mellow Yellow, and a one point loss to future kingslayers, the Apostles. Elsewhere, the Slipped Discs have so far stayed well under the radar, which is surprising given the all-seeing eye that we use here at the stately Brisbane Ultimate Blog mansion’s tipping sauna. Maybe they've noticed that our towel has slipped and we've gone Scandanavian.
>Our Tip: Griffith Oh Yeahs by 4.
And that's it for this round of Previews. Best of luck to all teams, and enjoy the long weekend.