Saturday, May 14, 2011

Up Yer BUML Round 9 Preview: The Buddy System

Borag Thungg BUMLettes! The thrillsucking Dictators of Zaargh have once again done their best this week to prevent postage of our fantastic weekly preview of Monday's BUML games, this time by disabling Blogger around the globe! However, not for anything am I called JdR the Patient and Clever, and of course much like mail in the old west of your planet, the post must go through! Zarjaz!

Division 2

Division 2 starts to run like a hephalump towards the end of the round robin (although there remain some catchup games to be played, but all glory must be laid at the feet of drawmaster Foxy, who was prescient in guessing some results and putting together a BLOCKBUSTER of a Round 9, with every game going to be difficult to tip (at least based on the ladder info available at bumlladder.info). So lets get into it.

Ghost Who Walks (1st) vs Tsunami (2nd) – Annerley 3B

According to bumlladder.info (that’s the required two mentions), this is the top of the table clash of the titans, so the hype is there and Foxy wisely put this game on the premier Annerley 3B field. The game itself is hard to preview though – we hear at the stately mansion don’t know that much about the wavelike ones (aside from getting beaten by them), who are clearly the dark horses of Division 2. Hopefully they’ll forgive us if we compare them to the Python, the crazed terrorist who is currently getting an appropriate punch to the jaw and additional permanent skull mark from The Phantom in the daily strip in the Courier Mail that you’re all no doubt watching closely. Yep, we’re tipping the friends to pygmies everywhere, The Ghost Who Walks.

What the Huck? (7th) vs Griffith Go-Go’s (8th) – Griffith 1

Two of the sexier teams in the League, although the Go-Go’s will be without Fiji Nealo and Nudist-I-Mean-Naturalist Chris this week as work drags them off the billy-o. We haven’t mentioned Bugger Si so far in these previews, and he’s a clear balance to the match in terms of slightly greying but strangely sexy guys, so that’s remedied then. As boring and usual, we tip the Go-Go’s, if only because Dan and Sholto would be laying on the shit if we went otherwise.

Starlight (10th) vs Griffith Oh Yeahs (9th) – Griffith 2

Although Ultimate is always the winner, this game will see one of these teams speak in the spirit circle for the first time this season. Expect this game to be wild and wacky, while occasionally tender and sensual, and possibly bodice-ripping and manhood-throbbing. We’ll scream “Oh Yeah” as far as a tip goes.

Agent Orange (4th) vs QUTies (5th) – Annerley 3A

This is a tale of two teams, who both fancy themselves, but both are coming off losses, and have had a hard look at themselves after a hot shower in the full length mirror and under the fluorescent lighting, and are wondering if just maybe what was once cute puppy fat may now be the start of flab, and maybe that once pert backside is really starting to sag, and they’d get back to the gym if only they weren’t so busy at work and had to hide those threatening letters from the credit card companies. So yeah, its hard to tip with both these teams against the world and trying to live their dream or at least be happy, when their problems don’t really amount to a hill of beans. Anyway, our tip is for the QUTies.

Baby Chimis (3rd) vs The Disc-iples (6th) – Annerley 5B Griffith 3 (note change)

While the Chimis scored what some would view as the upset of the round in forcing Agent Orange to beg for mercy 14-9 last week, The Disc-iples are really becoming the story here, as they continue to coalesce into a formidable Ultimate-playing machine (or a small planet, whichever you prefer). Nonetheless, only a fool tips against the Baby Chimis, and so we’re going for the Disc-iples.

Division 1

Division 1 gets a bit wacky, draw-wise, as we continue into ‘rematch territory’. No doubt drawmaster Foxy was well into the Jaegermeister by the time he got to programming Round 9, or is he just a bit cheeky?

Mellow Yellow (7th) vs Bermuda Triangle (6th) – Annerley 5A

Mellow Yellow took the win two weeks back, 17-9, commencing their end of season resurgence (which some would put down to the departure of the team’s top drinker to Melbourne, although others would say its because Rob has stopped effing about with a disciplined Nationals-tilts and got back where he belongs – half-arsed League play and hucking long like he just doesn't care any more!). But everyone involved will know that this game will probably end one team’s finals hopes, while keeping the other one’s at least on life-support, so expect all throws to be on and every ridiculous option taken. Then again, Bermuda Supremo Geoff does have the lowest AFDA number in the entire BUML, meaning there’s probably something tricky in the tank, so we’re going to tip the three-sided-ones.

Wuxi Finger Hold (3rd) vs Plastic Scourgery (8th) – Griffith 3 Annerley 5B (note change)

Reps from Bermuda Triangle and Mellow Yellow have regularly tried to portray themselves to us here in the stately Brisbane Ultimate Blog mansion as the sacrificial-lambs-to-the-need-to-make-Division-One-big-enough-slaughter, but they’re forgetting of course the good-looking-and-charming-but-otherwise-hopeless rabble that is Plastic Scourgery 2011. Perhaps it’s former child-star-but-now-aging PaulS’s inability to reach above his head, or maybe it was all that past success that saw them losing all those draft picks, I don’t know. But at least by having the Scourgeons around, we don’t have to talk about Wuxi too much. Wuxi won 17-5 last time they met, and we tip something similar happening again.

Dyspnoeics (4th) vs Poachers (1st) – UQ 7A

There might be two teams marching out onto the field for this game, but really its going to come down to two very big men in a sport full of Bigmen: Mansauce and DanB. We know who’d win a danceoff, and we know who’d win a beard-growing competition, but as for Ultimate Frisbee, its hard to tell. This could well be a grand final preview. We tip the blue team, if only because it allows us to continue our mild-internet-based flirting with AndyL’s missus.

Heroes (2nd) vs Discheads (5th) – UQ 7B

Of course, if we’re talking about grand finals in Division 2 (as an aside, a fun game to play as an Ultimate player, is when you’re watching a mainstream professional sportsperson be interviewed, consider reversing every cliché they spout), these two teams would argue they’re in with a huck. An 11-11 draw back in Round 3 provided a taste of the sibling rivalry between these two squads – something of a Snow White / Rose Red thing, we understand. We’re going against the grain here and tipping the Discheads, if only because the lord of the stately manor doesn’t even get out of bed to piss for minor matches like this one.

That's it for this week. See you on the field!

4 comments:

Starky said...

GWW
WTH
Oh Yeahs
AO
Baby Chimis

Bermuda
Wuxi
Dyspnoeics (DanB's dancing to narrowly edge out Mansauce's beard)
Discheads

dstrel said...

GWW
WTH
Oh yeah!
Navel Orange
Chimichangachimichangachimichimichimi

Mellow
Wuxi
Dyspnoeics
Heroes

cbeh said...

Tsunami
WTH
Oh Yeahs
AO
Chimis

Yellow
Wuxi
Poachers
Discheads

Rick said...

This is the first time Starky has ever tipped against Heroes.