Queensland Open Championships 2012 Preview

Your blogger has bitten way more off than he can chew this year, with TDing Regionals, Griffith stuff, QUDA stuff and real life, to properly preview this tournament. But who needs sleep!?

The tournament returns to Griffith Nathan which is looking shmick. Having the party at the Griffith campus pretty much straight after games finish (although time enough for southsiders to go home and shower I guess) is interesting. Pizza and a bar tab is always a drawcard. I See Red is a good theme - can't wait to see JackL and AndyL in their green outfits. Kinda negative in a photographic way.

Anyway, lets look at the teams.

Firestorm
The A1-AlphaDog-DominantLifeform-TopoftheFoodChain-ArnoldSchwarzenegger-ZombieLich-Galactus-CitizenKane-DalekEmperor of Northern Regionals. They laugh at this tournament (usually this is followed by a crack of thunder), and have managed to get it brought forward a week so they can get proper games at Easterns. And probably rightly so - once you've harvested the best talent and cut the chaff, as well as trained for months like the crazy eager buggers they are, what can you expect, aside from seeing Firestorm at the top of the trophy for another year.

Northerns Form: 2011 1st 2010 1st 2009 1st and 2nd (O/D squad); 2008 1st and 2nd (Troopers/Zippo), 2007 1st.

Player to Watch: All of the tricky beggars. Whoops, they've scored on you again. The one guy who probably hasn't flogged you before is named Dan. He'll flog you too apparently. And for the sake of Queensland pride at Nationals, please don't break any of them (treat J-Mac like he's your mother, which he is (spiritually)).

Towns-Villians
Evil, evil people from the True North, who will no doubt thrive in the hot and humid conditions this weekend. Like mould. Rumour has it that the Villians consider this a warmup tournament for coming again to smash and grab the Div2 Nationals title. We shall see. The roster may be a little short, but they've picked up a dark lords in the form of the best of the Cairns Mob, and as usual some dudes will just appear out of the blue. Looking forward to seeing the new outfits. Expect a forfeit on Sunday morning if tradition holds up.

Northerns Form: 2011 4th 2010 3rd 2009 4th (as Thor); 2008 3rd (as Thor); 2007 2nd (as Thor); 2006 4th (as No Panda).

Player to Watch: Hugh Osborne has moved to Perth like Hamish and Simone before him, but Keith is coming up from Tassie to drink JdR's liquour cabinet and play this one. Watch out for the guy in the old fashioned Dojo shirt.

Slamtown Flatball Club
Slamtown have had some highs and lows in their existence. This year's squad has been hardened up by the BPL, and boasts a very strong Byron Bay flavour. Expectations will be high, but if the gang parties like usual, Day 2 could be tough. If Northerns were My Kitchen Rules, these guys would be like those other famous Gold Coasters, Gary and Peter - know what they're doing but can seem a bit bitchy while doing it. Will battle Ignition to take the second Northern slot to Nationals, in some form or other.

Northerns Form: 2011 3rd 2010 2nd 2009 5th; 2008 4th (as The Pass)

Player to Watch: Stef Rappazzo of course. You can't help but look at him. Like a car wreck on legs. This guy is so tough he sweats blonde playgirls, craps steel I-beams and wees boiling tequila, lemon and salt - and that stuff doesn't have to fall far to hit the ground. Daughters should also be hidden from several members of this team. Jords will be much bigger this year, as he's going to Uni now and was apparently studying on Day 1, as will Dr Phil.

Firestorm Ignition
They've got Mansauce. What more should we bother mentioning? I guess we could give all the other nicknames for the players on the team, just so you can sort them out for your heckling when they take on Slamtown in the Semi-Final. There's Jacksauce, CarlieCarlCarl, NotCarlI'mNotRelatedToHimLeaveMeAloneManHeyIAmTooOver18, Brownsauce, Brownsauce with Chives, TimTom, TomTim, Bendy, Rednut the Fatarsed Wombat, Dazzler, Nugget, Dan Dan Revolution, the Big G, and Paul "I'm a Real Australian Now, Maaaayte, Gimme Some Tinnies or I'll Wooloomooloo Yer Woollangabba, Bloke" S. Want to get that second slot to Nats, rather than the 3rd slot.

Northerns Form: 2011 2nd

Player to Watch: A mix of knowns, known unknowns, and unknown unknowns, and various dressings. Um. Well, they're all kinda funny looking to watch. What the heck, let's talk up Guarin.

Griffith Heroes
A sexual chocolate of two prominent BUML Clubs, plus those darn Webb boys, who'll likely turn up in a 1969 Dodge Charger with the Confederate Flag painted on the roof and the doors welded shut. There's some young talent on this team, playing their first guy only games, which may suit dirty old swill-chucking farts like ... well basically Dusty and JdR. Still, lots of them have barely been on the same field together before, so expect their plays to be copied from Wikipedia.

Northerns Form: Zip

Player to Watch: Let's mention Dan Cohen, who anchored the Griffith AUGs 2011 team and Luke Stark, because he reads this sometimes.

Gympie G-Force
WELCOME GYMPIE! This is awesome to have them at their first big gig. Lots of unknowns to this blog on their sheet, but then three of them played the Q-Hat Final last year, and they've got their KFC-stained hands on Hello Moto, That's Mr Litzow To You Punk, and Former President Boevink, so don't play them down.

Northerns Form: Zip

Player to Watch: Michael Daly has the highest AFDA number of the tournament, at 19490.

Note for tipsters - since you'll all (except maybe for Crazy Pete) be putting Firestorm at the top of your list, we suggest you also tip the round robin goal difference. Assuming five games to 17 and time cap of 90 minutes against the other teams, how many points will Firestorm score against how many will they let in?