BUML2012-1 Round 9: Andy, Open the BUML-Hatch!

Some astute readers were outside the stately Brisbane Ultimate Blog mansion last week, with their pitchforks and burning torches and placards saying “Something witty”, all because we weren’t able to post our regular instalments of Poll Thursday and BUML Previews. Well, here’s what happened. We’ve started to box up some of the stuff here in the mansion in getting ready for the move, and we ventured into Wettie’s old room in the attic, which was supposed to be empty, and mostly was. But in the corner was a pile of old Cobras shirts, and something started moving. Yes, we roused one of Wettie’s old socks, which escaped into DanS’s wing (the one with all the ducting and grates … yes, just like those spaceships in Alien – we don’t know what’s going on in that kid’s head sometimes), and we’ve had to break out the proton packs and be constantly on edge. Keeping your finger on the trigger makes it hard to type. But after several days there’s been no movement on the scanners, so we can only assume its gone back into hibernation and get back to packing.

Packing you ask? Well, yes, normal service here will be first disrupted and then probably discontinued as JdR is departing the stately Brisbane Ultimate Blog mansion at some time in the next month or two (farewell soiree to be confirmed) for the freezing cold death plains of Canberra. Expect a few adios posts but don’t panic, it won’t be some sort of multi-year contract of testamonials with Courier Mail coverage and all that, because after all, we ain’t footballers.

Anyway, let’s have a look at next Monday’s BUML draw, mostly because you probably couldn’t be arsed reading the above, and are busy looking to see what we’ve written about White Lantern / the Dyspnoeics / Luke ‘Winter Is Coming’ Stark.

Plus, it’s a pretty thrilling set of games this week!

**Division 1 – Captain America!
“When Captain America throws his mighty shield,
All those who chose to oppose his shield must yield!
If he’s led to a fight and a duel is due,
Then the red and white and the blue’ll come through!
When Captain America throws his mighty shield!!”

>>Drop Bears vs Poachers – Annerley 3B
The Drop Bears have been getting stronger as the season progresses, plus they pushed the Poachers very hard last time, but this week looks like continuing the big P’s rampage. Indeed, the Poachers currently undefeated sit at the top of the Division 1 table and thereby officially lose any ‘dark horse’ status that’s been attached to them for … hmm, probably for as long as they’ve existed now. Indeed, there’s starting to be talk of a Poacher Premiership in some quarters, although of course media darling ‘Sugar Dan’ Blacklock will likely be rolling out the clichés like “We’re just playing one game at the time”, “It’s a long season”, and “How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woochuck could chuck would?”
>Our Tip: Poachers to make like World War 2 and win by 3.

>>Dyspnoeics vs White Lantern – Easts 1
Well, this should be interesting. Two of the biggest smack talking clubs in the League (at least on the internet) face off at Easts. The Dysponeics are still making hay from former D’s junior Andy McLean’s successes in the National Division 2 competition and Mansauce still looks like that guy from Bluejuice. Meanwhile, White Lantern have got their new kit been talking about how they’ve been undefeated for some time … since they lost 14-10 to the Dyspnoeics back in Round 4. Hopefully the wittiest banter will all come out to play in the comments selection below.
>Our Tip: Dyspnoeics to harness the power of the cosmic cube and win by 1.

>>UQ Lovers vs Ghost Who Walks – Gap 1
After two losses in a row, the Lovers seem to be continuing their traditional Semester 1 fade as holidays kick in, exams approach and without an immanent UniGames to fire them up (surely a reason for the normally recalcitrant UQ hierarchy to support Ultimate at Northerns in 2013 – it seems that several Griffith Ultimate players were so desperate for Northerns this year that they signed up to play mixed netball!?) The question is, can the Ghost Who Walks capitalise on this? The Gap venue can only help. An upset beckons, if only the purple-suited-mothers can get their defence sorted out. Still, the Lovers will probably get out of bed enough to get a conceded pass.
>Our Tip: Lovers to partner with the Falcon and win by 2.

**Division 2 – Thor!!
“’Cross the Rainbow Bridge of Asgard
Where the booming heavens roar,
You’ll behold in breathless wonder,
The God of Thunder, Mighty Thor!”

>>Tsunami vs Bermuda Triangle – Annerley 3A
Sweet mother of crap! THE biggest clash of the season so far, we might say. Bermuda Triangle remain the only BUML in the world that has won every game its played in 2012. The smile on BT Donna’s face must be a mile wide … but don’t forget those pursed lips hide the fangs of a game-dominating monster! Tsunami meanwhile have only lost once, and that was way way way back at the start of the season, when they went down 15-9 to … Bermuda Triangle. Yes, we’re now clearly into the second half of the season for Division 2, and well done draw-master Foxy for setting up these two likely grand finalists playing each other this far out. It’ll be a close one!
>Our Tip: Bermuda to bring the hammer down and win by 2.

>>Disc-iples vs Discheads – Easts 2
As our regular readers will know, cheesy disc-pun attempts at team names always put us off, and this game, which features two such abominations, makes it difficult. Particularly since they are such nice teams, filled with nice young men and women, who play some nice Ultimate. The Iples have been in a lot of games without taking the points, and meanwhile, the Heads have lost a few lately and are vulnterable. That said, expect the Heads to give it, Radiator style, and to lift and tuck it long all night long.
>Our Tip: Discheads to claim the all-seeing eye of Odin by 6.

>>What the Huck? vs Baby Chimis – Easts 3
We here at the stately mansion haven’t have a chance to wander down to the School of Huck for quite a while (hmm, maybe they need offer someone up for an interviewing?), but with their running game they’ll be looking to do some schooling of the under-age jailbait that is the Baby Chimis in this game.
>Our Tip: What the Huck? to quaff an entire barrel of enchanted mead by 4.

>>Heroes vs Agent Orange – Gap 1
Tighter than a very tight thing. The Agents seem to have started to get it together the last few weeks – maybe its been the compulsory defollication of some of their hairier moments (and players) and are now looking to work their way up the table. The Heroes remain largely steady, but will still be happy about rolling middle brother the Discheads recently. Frankly, this should be an excellent match.
>Our Tip: Agent Orange make like Loki on our heroes by 1.

**Division 3 – Iron Man!!!
“Tony Stark makes you feel
He’s a cool exec with a heart of steel.
As Iron Man, all jets ablaze,
He’s fighting and smiting with repulsor rays!
Amazing armor! That’s Iron Man!
A blazing power! That’s Iron Man!”

>>Griffith FC vs QUTies – Annerley 5A
Griffith FC (is it Griffith Financial Crisis? Flatball Club? Facility Challenged?) have managed to shake the Yee Haws moniker their club tried to put on them but now have to travel to Annerley to take on the QUTies, who last week annihilated the Yeast to show that yes Mum, they can score. Plus this made it two wins on the trot. All Griffith Clubs hate travelling but the GFC in particular, as MoTo and Jordii have trouble finding the team at the best of times. The QUTies will be very much seeking revenge for their 9-7 loss to the Yee Haws at the start of the year.
>Our Tip: QUTies get it on with some honeys by 4.

>>Slipped Discs vs Yeast – Annerley 5B
Well, this is very exciting. Two of the newer teams in the competition, and already the rivalry is there … and it is FRESH, let us tell you. Only two weeks ago these two teams played out a colossal battle that saw the Yeast grab the closest possible win of 17-16 in triple overtime with cheese and onion rings on the side because they like it a little bit fancy. The Slippers sucked up the pain and unleashed at Griffith last week, stringing together the necessary 17 points to close the game with a five point win (their first for the season). So yeah, this should be a big and passionate game.
>Our Tip: Yeast to slam down a few dozen martinis before lunch by 1.

>>Apostles vs Griffith Go-Go’s – Griffith 1
You know up above we said this was one of the best rounds of BUML this season? Well here’s why, as we see a TOP OF THE TABLE clash in Division 3. The distant past, where the Go-Go’s won this match-up at the start of the season, 16-12, is not only gone and forgotten, its been buried, dug up, slapped around, dismembered, incinerated and left for the crows, as the Apostles have gone from strength to strength on a seven day basis of being unbeaten since, most recently cleaning up heavyweights Mellow Yellow by 4 points, who of course delivered the Go-Go’s their only defeat of the season a fair way back. Still, the Go-Go’s have solidified into a quite heavy solid-thing, and they showed a lot of grit to come back and win against their effervescent sister team the Oh Yeahs 13-12 last Monday. Plus with JdR leaving town sooner or later he’s got real glory to play for (rather than the usual inevitable spirit prize). So heck, we’ll have to tip the rRds, even though this is probably the hardest game to call of the season so far, and going on form, a likely grand final preview. Have we said enough?
>Our Tip: Go-Go’s to invest billions in some high technology stuff by 1.

>>Mellow Yellow vs Griffith Oh Yeahs – Griffith 2
Meanwhile, if there’s two teams that are looking to shake the Apostles-Go-Go’s-Final calculation trees, its these two. It’ll be like one of them western movies we think – the sly “old gringo’ out for a quick score or at least a knees up at the saloon that is Mellow Yellow, up against the young “Kid” with a charming smile that covers up his theft of your grandmother’s false teeth and gold toenails. Both these teams will also be all about coming back from losses last week, loses that burn deep into their very souls, like the blazing sun while you ride across the desert on a horse with no name. Let’s home there’s no rain.
>Our Tip: Griffith Oh Yeahs to engineer a better future for all through free energy oh wait that’s just a comic book by 2.

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