BUML 17 - Grand Final Preview - We ARE the Walking Dead!

Well, unlike graphic novel series The Walking Dead (now a TV show), who’s titles we’ve been using for each of our previews this season, this particular season of Monday Night mixed Ultimate must end. But it shall end with a bang with two great-looking Grand Finals for all and sundry to get along to the Griffith University Nathan oval on Monday night, as they battle it out to get their names onto the BUML Hall of Fame Board (are you on it?), and of course have the esteem of the people FOREVER.

Division 2 Grand Final - What the Huck? vs Discheads

Well, this certainly wasn’t on the cards. Everyone expected the Orange juggernaut to be here. But something happened last week in the wilds of the Gap, the Agents went down 8-10, and when you think about it, if anyone was going to a) know of any weakness in AO’s offence and b) be willing to lie doggo for a lot of the season before springing for the throat, then the unfancied, unattractive and surprisingly uncoordinated Discheads were it.

Wait a minute – after ignoring them earlier in the season, are we here at the stately Brisbane Ultimate Blog mansion now opening up a bagging front on the Dischead’s asses? Well, that’s a bit rough, so let’s use the softer end of the pineapple and talk them up a bit. Yes, we can make jokes about their having dish-shaped heads, but their front tow of Craig, Seb and Zombie Starkey provide some solid grey that allows Jess, Electra and the Thompsons to run riot when the opportunity arises. Yay, Discheads!

However, the Discheads’ old-school happy-fun-times approach to Ultimate will be up for a challenge against the hard-nosed multi-sport-edged tanglers from What the Huck? who saw off a rallying but ultimately uneven Disc-Iples 11-9. The Huckers are very very mobile and love to score off the turnover. They’re also very motivated, having already asked JdR to have the carpark gate open by 4.45pm so they can commence a warmup that includes one thousand throws with burpees and raw egg shakes and rat-meat pies for those who stop (as they obviously need the protein, or maybe just need to get more fired up). In terms of talent writeup, its hard to say anything as there are no individuals in this team, and hence nobody to mention, aside from TJ because you need someone to flip the disc with the opposition and of course earn loads of money, have number one hit records and pull chicks and stuff. Yes, we are TJ fans from way back here, we don’t try to hide it. Go WTH?!

Our tip: This promises to be a very tight final, something the BUML fatcats desperately needs after a few easy ones recently. The Discheads will be relying on their pals from within the heroic Ultimate collective to fire their self-belief, and every Hucker will be there, along with their families, workmates and countrymen. We know reps from both of these teams are regular readers of these here previews, and we thank them for it. It also makes this game very very hard to tip … one team gets happiness, and the other team gets something to be angry about. With a game as in the balance as this one, even a tip by a blogger can make a difference on the field. Hmm, well, we like fairy-tales, so let’s tip What the Huck? by 1.

Division 1 Grand Final – UQ Ultimate Lovers vs Co-Mingled

Speaking of what the f**k, how is it that we’re not typing the Dyspnoeics names in here? All we can think of is that the move of Neighbours from Channel 10 to Channel 11 has definitely left the Dysponeics off balance, although nobody could have predicted that they’d have gone down so badly in last week’s semi. Of course, it could be that Co-Mingled finally pulled what it can do when pushed out of their collective pants and started waving it about for all to see.

And about damn time too, as the story of Division 1 this season has been UQ slapping stuff down and dragging said stuff back to its cave for dismemberment or conversion into furniture. The Poachers apparently make a nice occasional table and matching ottoman, after the Semi 13-8 last week.

The brute force on display when old gringos Gref, TomSteve or Megs have the disc in hand is truly intimidating, while their younger and more innocent players like Lex, Connie and Bonnie have been drilled within an inch of their lives. Heck, even JJ isn’t having brain explosions that trip the richter scale like he used to. It must be the calming influence of the regular DAK DAK DAK of BW providing the engine at the back. Yeah LOVERS!

The UQ Lovers have swept all before them this season, but if there’s a team that’s going to beat them on Monday night, it’s the talented Co-Mingled which has been gelling (and turning up) under finals pressure. With Abra, Stu and Brianna, this team will seemingly swim like fish through the air, while Dr Buzz and Prof MattB provide a long experience of ‘schooling student chumps’. Go Minges!

Our tip: This promises to be a very tight final, something the BUML fatcats desperately needs after a few easy ones recently. The Co-Mingled will be relying on the many many fans of Maylin and Molly to fill their sideline, but UQ won’t care as popularity is for people without partially completed degrees. We DO know that some folks from both of these teams are love a good heckling so make sure you bring your champagne along if you’re going to sit on the sidelines for this one. This also makes this game very very hard to tip. With a game as in the balance as this one, even a tip by a blogger can make a difference on the field. Hmm, well, we like fairy-tales, so let’s tip Co-Mingled by 1.