Sunday, July 31, 2011

Halibut Talent Scouts - Preview - What we've heard:

[DTF may indeed stand for Deep Transverse Friction of the Gluts, as discovered on a google image search]

DTF vs Burley Griffins

DTF: WTF? We've heard that Reece and GIO are rockin' this team with some romance. We've also heard that after the letter F follows the popular combination of 'uck'. We've pointed out to Reece that Fire Truck should read DFT. We've also pointed out that DiscFireTruck is as illogical a name as Dyspnoeics, albeit more pronounceable. Reece is having none of that shit, coz were Gen Y babi n' imma totz ignore correct spelling and dismiss any sibilance of correct grammar, syntax and word choice. Peepz.

Expect some good ol' fashion loving from The Behrendorffs, with the honey-pot overflowing and the flow-on leading to an early departure from the dance floor. Word is that the lovers are staying at Laura's parents place, which would be tot's awks if that happined.

No doubt there will be disc spiking and spiked drinks when the honourable Finn McCarthy-Adams enters the field of play. The competition is on for who can most destroy a disc - Finn or Linus. I think you know why.

To be honest, this team is full of characters to make good humoured jest of. Let's move on.

The Burley Griffins:
Not to be mistaken with Aerobic Fitness Club - The Burleigh Griffins. We've got the low-down from Myall on this mixed bag from Canberra. Players such as Mel Gangemi and Vickie Sayer have AFDA numbers lower than 2000. Adam Mortimer also has a lower number but it's triple figures so he's probably like a Tony Ross or Phil Stocks - a dinosaur! I may be wrong, Nathan Litzows number is 52, but if I'm not, these players bring the mongrel!

Myall says that they've got 2 or 4 players who have played Worlds, and not just the World Clubs types - we're talking Australia! They've chucked in the up and coming Linuses of Canberra and promise to excite. The most exciting name, no doubt, is Phillipe McCracken, who, if he is a straight man, will be watching his back at the party, so as to avoid any confusion resulting from the innuendo surrounding his name.

Speaking of the party, if these guys are anything like Myall, they will win the talent show with circus acrobatics and sword fighting of the traditional kind, thank you very much. They will abstain from alcohol, instead choosing to rogaine through the night, ending with a hands-only climb of Mt Warning, before returning to Palm Beach and challenging Al's harem of temporary housemates to Guns at Dawn.

I feel that this has been one of my best posts, and you plebs in your cubicles should be thankful that I have been conserving my energies lately, so that I may blow you away with such phenomenal drivel.

End Post.

[recognise THESE calfs?]

OMG! BUML website goes live!!

Wowsers, this shit is real.

Get on over to and check out Rick's sweet work, themed in a lovely "Heroes Green" ;-). Nice.

League starts this week, 1st August, and we can all breathe a sigh of relief as up-to-date information can finally be found in an easy-to-read format on the website!!

End POst.

Beach Ultimate Players Involved In Media Scandal

From Aug 21 to Aug 28, 2011 we are expecting 80+ teams and 1,200+ athletes from 35 countries and 5 continents on the beaches of Lignano Sabbiadoro (Italy). It will be the biggest Beach Worlds ever!

The Queenslanders involved are: Chris Cunliffe, Kristen "Notty" Nott (co-captain) and Madeline "Molly" Young - playing on the mixed team aka 'Breakers'

Finn McCarthy, Jack Liliwall, Dan Blacklock, "Silent" George Salisbury and Keith Cameron-Smith on the mens team (= Saltwater Crocs)...

Tam Davis (Captain) Mel Aube and Emma Briggs on the women's team, which may be named "Platypussies" or 'Platypi'. (Platyp* was down to only 9 players, and was in danger of having to withdraw until Tam took charge and saved the day with her super recruiting power and never-say-die attitude...)

This unusual behaviour on the Gold Coast has in recent times, attracted a swarm of media attention:

Recent Sports Tonight footage of the Sydney-based players (keep watching for file footage clips with Queenslanders Alistair Don and Chris Cunliffe winning gold for Australia in Brazil in '07.)

Local newspaper coverage of the recent training camp on the Gold Coast

Gold Coast news (NBN) piece on the training camp (you may need to install a plugin to watch, but it's got clips of Finn McCarthy, Tam Davis, Emma Briggs and Molly)

Don't miss the usual shtickle from the Slamtown Blog (Stefan trumpeting the punching-bags win over the Aussie Open team -- bit scandalous)

[Courtesy of Molly]

Friday, July 22, 2011

Halibut Talent Scouts - Preview - What we know:

Heroes vs Team Plank

Ok, so we'll start with what we know, and I know what my team has been up to lately! An early start to a mixed nats campaign has seen the Heroes Ultimate Club hone in on some no nonsense training and make some very tough selections in the eve of Halibut 15. The exclusion of Starkey is likely to hurt the kids in green at the party. Meanwhile, Rick and Sean will be busting it on the field and we all know what Bevan is capable of. Expect arrogance from the Heroes women who are hung-over from the WUFL win of yester-year, and have not had to prove themselves through a selection process. The men will be looking to them to learn a thing or two about winning matches when it counts.

Team Plank: At a guess, it would be fair to imagine that the interstate travellers have had two training sessions together by now, and the Mayor would be pulling all sorts of things out of his .. hat at GC training. Everyone else is probably slacking off, with the exception of Team Plank. With Stu and Maylin training for worlds and big Rob Lowe in the form of his life off the back of a Firestorm season, this team looks sharp. With an average age of 30 (being generous), there is no doubt that Sophie Stewart will provide the lead-out at the party for the more seasoned campainers, namely Cola, who will be drinking anything but his namesake. But back to Rob Lowe - just think Jens Voigt in regards to drinking efforts. Rob will certainly enjoy dishing out the pain.

That's all for now. Stay tuned for more meaningless speculation. At this rate, we'll have it covered by Worlds!

As Sam Schlencker said: "I've been practicing the art of Plonking for years. It involves drinking a lot of wine and falling asleep in strange positions."

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Saturday Madness - Disc Golf Wins!?

We here at the stately mansion are once again stretched in all directions, and no more so than this Saturday where there are three entirely separate opportunities for flying disc fun.

The Australian Beach Ultimate Squad are having their training camp at Coolangatta all weekend. This is their last time together before departing overseas to battle on the sands of Italy for gritty barefoot glory! The squad will be set up on Coolangatta beach, close to the corner of Warner St and Marine Pde 10am-4pm both Saturday and Sunday. They're looking for people to play against each afternoon from about 2pm.

Of course if that doesn't appeal, Dusty-and-aL-speed beach Ultimate is on as usual, from 10am Saturday morning at Palm Beach.

Meanwhile, sisters are doing it for themselves with the second SatHATaday session at New Farm Park from 2-4pm.

But perhaps most excitingly, this weekend sees the Queensland Disc Golf Championships, and for those who don't lurk on, let us tell ya, its firing up in a manner almost comparable to the Tour de France (well, not really, but this will be the most exciting weekend of disc golf in Queensland ever!)

Monday, July 18, 2011

What's going on on Mondays?

Rumours are rife that Dyspnoeics are dominating the fields at Griffith on Monday nights - as Mansauce is far to busy with other mixed sport to play ultimate on other nights!

GUUC are rocking the autobusse, providing some outrageous game play for new-comers and old-hands to be involved with.

Tonight is a battle of the universities, with historical UQ field 7 being open for a learn to play and pickup night. If you're into the latest movements you will have no doubt be eager to buck tradition, and play with the new kids at Griffith.

18th July - UQ Pickup 7:30 - 9.
Griffith pickup (& learn to play) 7 - 9:15.

As usual, bring your black and whites + water bottle & cleats. Smack talk is recommended.

25th July - Annerley learn to play.

The next MOnday - GAME ON!! Season 2 (or so we believe)

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Regurgitating things from mailing lists

An update from JMac
G'day all,

We're halfway through the year.
In Australia, this means that the university and mixed seasons are ramping up, and some of Australia's longest-running tournaments will be announcing this year's details.
I thought it might be useful to give a heads up about what's coming in the next 6 months...



The Mayor of Slamtown is making sure everyone knows about Halibut (August 6-7, Gold Coast).
This is one of the oldest and best tourneys in Australia, combining fun & participation with a high quality top end of teams from around the country.

We may be seeing a local tournament in late August (TBC), if necessary - QUDA will be able to confirm this soon.
Mixed Nationals, in late October, requires teams to qualify through their regions. For everyone who's not trying to go to Mixed Nats, this will mean a chance to get out and just play Ultimate.

Lovefest has been run in early September for a few years now, and the UQ crew have got it pencilled in on 10-11 September at the moment.
Like the Mixed Nationals qualifier, this is a mix of focused teams preparing for a national competition (in this case, uni teams), and a bunch of locals just having a good time.

The previous two years has seen the Big Sky battle in late October. You can expect to hear over the next couple of months if this tournament is returning in 2011, so keep an ear out.


The Melbourne Hat is only second to Nationals in terms of size and history, now in its 24th year. The date has been locked in for 9-11 December at Albert Park.
Playing the Hat is virtually a rite of passage for Australian Ultimate players. From international superstars to complete newbies off the street, the goal of all players is to meet people and have fun playing summer frisbee.

One week later, (officially TBC, but very likely) on 18 December, the Longest Day (and Longest Weekend) continue the summer Ultimate in Sydney. Another fixture on the Australian calendar, but with a twist: it's the country's longest-running beach tourney.
After golf on Friday night, and usually a solid Saturday afternoon hit-out of beach schtick, a wide array of summer fruit awaits competing teams of all levels. A dip in the waves between points can be a great way to relieve the heat.

(I'm currently planning on heading to both, probably driving... anyone want to join me? gimme a yell. tourney convoy!)


With Monash and Macquarie freshly crowned as winners of Southern/Eastern Uni Games, all eyes are now turning to the Australian Uni Games, 25-30 September on the Gold Coast.
UQ has enjoyed this location in the recent past, taking the crown in 2007 and 2009. Griffith and QUT are also looking to send teams; could there be any chance of seeing resurgence from JCU or Bond? Be there to find out.


A special plug: Halibut, Melbourne Hat and Longest Day are probably the three biggest, longest-running, most popular participation tournaments in the country.
That means that all of them now have limited space available; since they're open to anyone without restriction/qualification, they all fill up easily each year.
Get in early!

Hopefully that's a useful summary.
If there are tournaments on that list you've never played, have a think about it (and then do it!). They're all fantastic experiences.

Cheers all. Happy Julius Caesar's birthday :-)


Team Rego Due for Brisbane Indoor Ultimate Championships!

So the 3rd Annual Brisbane Indoor Ultimate Championships are just over a month away.

TD JdR has to pay the deposit one months out - but he needs to be confident he'll have at least six teams attending before he blows that cash.

Can you match the heroics of previous winners, Mongo and Novovengo? Or perhaps just come along and have a great time.

Date: Wednesday 17 August 2011 (Ekka Public Holiday in Brisbane)
Time: Doors open 10.15am, game on at 11.00am, all done by 4pm

What: For Brisbane folks, Indoor Ultimate is something different, but its more common in those parts of the world with snow. Indoor Ultimate is a great change of pace – very fast, no wind, and even beginners can throw from endzone to endzone.

Who: Get a bunch of mates together and get registered – space is limited! Roster size is maximum 8 players. 5 on the court at one time, max. three per gender.

How much? $100 per team if 7 or more teams register. $120 if its 6 teams or less. Includes courts, insurance, prizes.


Monday, July 11, 2011

Could the Weather Be More Perfect for Pickup?

Isn't this the perfect weather for pickup games? No need to 'take a sub for the team' or follow Captain's orders and get your ass on the sidelines, as you would in the highly competitive BUML. Instead its run and run and run and enjoy the dry cool and windless air. Truly, Brisbane rocks for Ultimate.

Anyway, pickup is on tonight at Griffith Uni's AFL Field off Kessels Rd, Nathan. Lights on at 7pm, lights off at 9pm. All welcome, especially non-Monday night regulars - bring a light shirt and a dark shirt.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011


Guys and girls,

After thousands of seconds of preparation, and eager anticipation from
huge crowds of a dozen or so people... the Muddle happened on Saturday.

Congratulations to Becky Hill, unrivalled Queen of the tournament with 5
wins from 5 games.
Romantics were shattered to see aerial dominance triumph over true love,
with Mike Larson stealing the King crown from James Larkin in a double
game point thriller.

Huge thanks to Kaitlin & Jules for arranging a lunch exactly to
specifications (good & abundant), to Silent George for arranging all
necessary equipment to turn up and depart without a word, to Finn (and
later Kaitlin) for setting us up with party music, to Pete for doing a
last-minute trip to Chermside to grab prizes and to everyone who pitched
in during the day.

For those who're interested, I've made the final budget available:
It'll be up there for a couple of weeks, or until I remember to take it
down, whichever comes second...
(cheap shameless plug: it's uploaded on Dropbox, which is great; if you
want to sign up, use my referral link:
Any questions, comments, concerns, get in touch.

Stay tuned for the next installment in "random tournament ideas"!
To keep you entertained in the meantime, check out Halibut, the Indoor
Champs and Lovefest in the coming couple of months!

Muddle TD

Monday, July 04, 2011

Up Yer BUML: Seems Like a No-Brainer: Grand Final Preview

Borag Thungg BUML-lets! It is I, JdR the Immaculate, here once again with your final BUML preview for the season. Its been a long hard slog but never let it be said that JdR the Perservering didn’t do his best to post something most weeks (finals excepted – new job and all).

Tonight is the night, when the best of the best in spectating terms get to sit around, eat pizza, and watch the hammer-drunk survivors of BUML Season 1-2011 duke it out for Finals glory.

By the Rosette of Sirius which sits upon my brow, the thrill-power generated by these two games is likely to hit leg-liquifying, face-melting levels, so make sure you wrap up warm, bring your chair and check out our preview below.

Division 2: The Ghost Who Walks vs Agent Orange – Griffith 1

Purple verses Orange would probably make for the lairiest Ultimate final seen in Brisbane for many many years, if not ever, as our city has traditionally been somewhat conservative in Ultimate shirt colours (at least until the Heroes took on green and the floodgates opened).

The Ghost Who Walks have certainly had a great season, with only a single loss that we’re aware of, to Minor Premiers Tsunami. They easily rolled the exam-effected QUTies in their quarter-final, and a fast-finishing What the Huck in their Semi.

The Purples have a strong line-up that makes best use of the team’s diverse skill sets, with a very strong zone-defence and gut busting female cutting on offence.

TGWW also have the wood on AO, defeating them 14-11 and 17-9 in their two matchups, both of which were middle of the season.

Agent Orange meanwhile are best described as battle-hardened, and certainly come into the Finals as both underdogs (coming into the Finals in 6th position with 5 wins and 5 losses) and the form team of the Finals, with good wins against quality opposition in the quarter final against the Baby Chims and a mighty one in the Semis against Tsunami.

Can the Nipples shut down the Justin and Joe show? Will Bevan show up? What will Vanessa and Alana show off? We’d also better mention Gavin. I, JdR the Showy-offy, will have trouble not putting both eyeballs onto this game.

Division 1: Dyspnoeics vs Wuxi Finger Hold – Griffith 2

But then there’s this other game – worth at least one eyeball also, if not two or more if you have them. Both of these teams are very very talented and are likely to deliver some entertaining play.

Mansauce the Astrologically-inclined has already called it for his team, noting wins for all his other teams (Queensland Reds, NQ Cowboys, Brisbane Lions) over the weekend suggesting some sort of cosmic alignment, no doubt filtered through Andy L’s red nut.

Wuxi meanwhile we have little to say about, with their media death-star refusing all requests for comment and we here at the Brisbane Ultimate Blog finding it necessary not to talk about them anyway - the release of power should there ever be a confrontation could well end life on earth if we know it!

Looking at what really counts, we see that the D’s defeated Wuxi in a close one (10-8) a few months back in their only meeting for the season. Wuxi defeated the tough Poachers in their Semi, while the Dypnoeics ended the Heroes season last week.

Wuxi are well known for dominating once they get a roll on, and it’ll be up to the Blues to stop this from happening. Props to big daddy Baker, whom we can't help but mention.

Splundig Vur Thrigg!

See you tonight, and again next season.

Congratulations to those who recognised the titles for each of our weekly previews as being drawn from episodes of Survivor: Redemption Island. Let’s hope for a more climactic final set of games tonight!

Thanks also to those who have enjoyed the ongoing theft of lines and concepts from the Mighty Tharg, god-editor of the greatest comics anthology in the galaxy, 2000AD. Splundig Vur Thrigg!

Friday, July 01, 2011

Brisbane Ultimate Royalty

A post from the newly-censored JdR!!

So BPL TD Graham recently released the teams for the upcoming NSEW Draft League.

Our biased analysis is currently being put together by our room full of typewriting monkeys and the usual gang of idiots and we hope to post it immediately after the season ends. Yeah Brisbane Ultimate Blog.

But of course, what's more interesting is WHO amongst the elite of the Brisbane Ultimate fraternity is considered Brisbane Ultimate ROYALTY.

Royalty, that is, because of course they only need a single name to identify themselves, with Graham of course taking the David Dimblebee / Perez Hilton role.

Let’s go through that list.

It’s hard to see Reece as proper Brisbane Ultimate Royalty, due to the relentless self-promotion and the near continuous reference to himself in the third person – ie “The Reece is hot today.” “The Reece only eats green M and M’s.” “The Reece is at peace.” Yes, its an effort at hip-hop royalty, but not a great one. Not Royalty.

This is controversial, as thanks to recruitment of Dusty2 at the Griffith University, there is no longer only a single Dusty in Australian Ultimate (it has been noted that Dusty no longer ventures past the 10km-from-the-CBD-line for his Ultimate). While it’s not that hard to emulate Dusty’s onfield style (tip – don’t run more than several meters at once), on the other hand, Dusty2 would have to do a lot to gain the appropriate and well deserved prominence that Dusty has gained on the world Ultimate party scene. Hence, Dusty deserves his place. Royalty.

No brainer. Blonde, killer smile, attracted to danger, PR savvy. Our own Princess Di. Royalty.


Well, he’s got the rampant ego of a born-to-rule royal, but its hard to match that up with his proletarian revolutionary outlook on the world. On balance of probabilities and despite having originally come to us from monarchist-heaven Adelaide, we have to say Not Royalty.

Let’s just call him a Princess Gref and be done with it. Royalty, but only within the confines of the UQ St Lucia Campus.

For those who don’t know, Tracter is the only surname on the list (ignoring the special AFDA-governed arrangement for Notty – see below), and hence we’ve really only included him to void him, although to anyone who’s seen him play it should be obvious. Not Royalty.

Notty is unique amongst Brisbane Ultimate Royalty, in that much like Duran Duran (the Barabarella character, not the band), the double barrelled name of Notty Nott solves all sorts of problems, and has been officially approved by the AFDA. Avoid references to Wayne’s World and other comparable pop culture artifacts. Royalty.


With his amusing gaffs and preference for a tipple, Coops comparable to the Duke of Windsor (also known as Phil the Greek). Still, he has a certain charm. But he doesn’t qualify for this list and we’re looking at single real names (and Andy don't cut it), not nicknames more random than ‘Pants’ Austin. Married into Royalty.

Leon has a perfectly serviceable nickname, so its not clear why he’s been offered up for single-name Royalisation. Perhaps it’s a reference so his skills as a movie assassin? We’ll sit on the fence for this one. Aristocrat.

No problem here. It’s Queen Suze. Just check out those outfits from that visit to the Botanic Gardens last year. Royalty.

ps - other people you would’ve though didn’t need no stinking identifier aside from their first name:

Surviving Le Tour

Just remember kids, blogging is for fun and not in this case, not for serious advice. The following post is light-hearted and a personal dietary prescription from a practitioner is always more appropriate than advice you've read on the net.

BIG DISCLAIMER: If you are on meds, you really shouldn't take any of this as advice.

I was recently at a dinner party, and amongst the guests were some people who were known to me as cycling enthusiasts. I whispered "July 2" across the table. My friend winked and said "Better start sleep loading!"

A preposterous idea, of course. But it got me thinking - what can you do to survive Le Tour?

What are the issues here? Obviously number 1, you don't get enough sleep. But what are the flow-on effects of this?

1. At this time of year, you are likely to be run down as it is, and a lack of sleep may just tip you over the edge and bring on a flu. This may be a good excuse to sleep all day and stay up all night. You may also lose your job.

2. You are unproductive and lack mental alertness during the day.

1. Well known nutrients for the immune system include: Vitamin A, C, and Zinc. Supplementation is great, but in the diet, foods containing these vitamins include: Carrots - juice two of these with 2.5cm of ginger and maybe some orange/lemon. Delicious! In fact, make sure you use at least 2.5cm of ginger per day - you can juice it you can make a herbal tea with it (don't add it to tea though) you can cook with it - likewise, use shitloads of garlic wherever possible - in your cooking, but you may also just cut up a clove and suck it back with some honey to prevent burning your esophagus on the way down. This is extremely stimulating to the immune system for a variety of reasons to boring to mention here. Use 1 Orange, 1 Lemon, 1 Lime per day. You can eat it, you can drink it, you can make a dressing. Don't apply heat though, as this rapidly reduces Vitamin C levels available. Just eat Oysters all the time, hey. You can deal with the mercury poisoning later. August is for detoxing! Pepitas are little green seeds and they are pretty fuckin' boring if you ask me, but just grind it up, perhaps in your magnificent chicken soup with all that onion, celery, and the veges I've already mentioned.

If you want to win friends, you'll have been avoiding salad for some time now. It might be good just to blend the shit up, perhaps with a banana, if you're made of money. It tastes better than it sounds, believe me. Add some honey, but make it bush honey because that's more than just sugar, if you know what I mean. You probably don't - look up Manuka Factor and read something aside from marketing. Do you know how to use google scholar? You're right. Research is bullshit anyway.

Back to chicken and oysters - protein, my friend. It's your friend. You know you need it when you're on your bike, but you're going to want it to fight off the plague. It's also going to help you sleep at night, when you've been abusing your body and mind but not your soul, because you stayed up watching that beautiful Mediterranean or Swiss Alp scenery, only to fall asleep and find out at work the next day after your 6th coffee that Mark Cavendish won the sprint. Again. So you can eat raw eggs like those body builders you've always despised, combine legumes with grains like a hippy, or eat a goddamn steak and be done with it.

By now your body is probably quite tired, even though you haven't been exercising. Smash some nuts to get your magnesium fix (not peanuts, idiot) - you'll need some B-Vitamins too - hell, just start taking that multi again that you bought last year - it's still in the cupboard, i saw it last time I was over.

Whatever you do, don't order a Pizza at 11:55pm. They will spit in it.

Remember to drink water - you probably forgot because it's been cold lately.


For mental alertness you can drink green tea, peppermint tea, take korean ginseng, withania is another good herb for endurance, try rubbing essential oils into your temples - alternatively you can quit wanking and have another coffee. Eventually it's effects will be dimmed, so you'll need to take more. Addiction is fun like that.

There it is, my tips to surviving the tour. I'd like to hear your ideas.

PS. Shiitake Mushrooms.