Brisbane Ultimate Royalty

A post from the newly-censored JdR!!

So BPL TD Graham recently released the teams for the upcoming NSEW Draft League.

Our biased analysis is currently being put together by our room full of typewriting monkeys and the usual gang of idiots and we hope to post it immediately after the season ends. Yeah Brisbane Ultimate Blog.

But of course, what's more interesting is WHO amongst the elite of the Brisbane Ultimate fraternity is considered Brisbane Ultimate ROYALTY.

Royalty, that is, because of course they only need a single name to identify themselves, with Graham of course taking the David Dimblebee / Perez Hilton role.

Let’s go through that list.

Reece
It’s hard to see Reece as proper Brisbane Ultimate Royalty, due to the relentless self-promotion and the near continuous reference to himself in the third person – ie “The Reece is hot today.” “The Reece only eats green M and M’s.” “The Reece is at peace.” Yes, its an effort at hip-hop royalty, but not a great one. Not Royalty.

Dusty
This is controversial, as thanks to recruitment of Dusty2 at the Griffith University, there is no longer only a single Dusty in Australian Ultimate (it has been noted that Dusty no longer ventures past the 10km-from-the-CBD-line for his Ultimate). While it’s not that hard to emulate Dusty’s onfield style (tip – don’t run more than several meters at once), on the other hand, Dusty2 would have to do a lot to gain the appropriate and well deserved prominence that Dusty has gained on the world Ultimate party scene. Hence, Dusty deserves his place. Royalty.

Molly
No brainer. Blonde, killer smile, attracted to danger, PR savvy. Our own Princess Di. Royalty.

Finn
Well, he’s got the rampant ego of a born-to-rule royal, but its hard to match that up with his proletarian revolutionary outlook on the world. On balance of probabilities and despite having originally come to us from monarchist-heaven Adelaide, we have to say Not Royalty.

Gref
Let’s just call him a Princess Gref and be done with it. Royalty, but only within the confines of the UQ St Lucia Campus.

Tracter
For those who don’t know, Tracter is the only surname on the list (ignoring the special AFDA-governed arrangement for Notty – see below), and hence we’ve really only included him to void him, although to anyone who’s seen him play it should be obvious. Not Royalty.

Notty
Notty is unique amongst Brisbane Ultimate Royalty, in that much like Duran Duran (the Barabarella character, not the band), the double barrelled name of Notty Nott solves all sorts of problems, and has been officially approved by the AFDA. Avoid references to Wayne’s World and other comparable pop culture artifacts. Royalty.

Coops
With his amusing gaffs and preference for a tipple, Coops comparable to the Duke of Windsor (also known as Phil the Greek). Still, he has a certain charm. But he doesn’t qualify for this list and we’re looking at single real names (and Andy don't cut it), not nicknames more random than ‘Pants’ Austin. Married into Royalty.

Leon
Leon has a perfectly serviceable nickname, so its not clear why he’s been offered up for single-name Royalisation. Perhaps it’s a reference so his skills as a movie assassin? We’ll sit on the fence for this one. Aristocrat.

Suze
No problem here. It’s Queen Suze. Just check out those outfits from that visit to the Botanic Gardens last year. Royalty.

ps - other people you would’ve though didn’t need no stinking identifier aside from their first name:
Abra
Myall
Carl
Dan