Poison Runnin' Through My Brain

The next season of the Brisbane Premier League doesn’t huck off until August, but that hasn’t stopped the newest team in the League launching themselves. Yes, your humble blogger recently received an email, sealed with a potent venom and some sort of snakeskin on it, inviting us to head down to the basement and look around.

Grabbing a sharp stick, we wandered deep into what used to be the dark and dank caves below the stately Brisbane Ultimate Blog mansion, now newly refurbished into the Cobra Lair, complete with throne room, digital fortress and warm sunny rock for lying on, to speak nervously with the new Cobra Commander himself, Liam ‘Wetnose’ Gillions.

Brisbane Ultimate Blog (BUB): Thanks for having us, Liam.

Liam ‘Wetnose’ Gillions (LWB): BOW DOWN BEFORE MY MIGHTLY LORDNESS, PEONS! MUHAHAHAAAA

BUB: Eh? Um ….

LWB: Oh, its just you JdR. Sorry, I was practicing for when we win our first BPL title.

BUB: Ah, ok. Well, I just wanted to ask you about the new Club.

LWB: Well then, I guess I could spare some time for you. Would you care for a grilled rodent? Or would you rather it poached?

BUB: Heh – you used to have a taste for seafood, I thought. But I’ll pass on the Little Johnny’s thanks. What made you guys want to start up a new Club?

LWB: Just something different. I was looking to start something on my own, branch out from the towering shadow of Bug #1, and when I floated the idea to a couple of people they seemed keen as well, and the rest is history. All hail the Cobras!

BUB: Tell me, what’s the story behind calling yourselves the Cobras?

LWB: Nothing really, seemed like a decent name. Something short, catchy, and it is a deadly animal as well.

BUB: I hope you’re familiar with the fate of the Cobras in that Dodgeball flick. And what’s the story with this uniform deal? Will you be wearing purple?

LWB: Considered using the name Purple Cobras, but then whenever I make my Blue Steel face, people will just laugh at me for referencing the wrong Stiller movie, and I definitely do not want to stop doing Blue Steel. The sponsorship deal is great. Zone (www.frisbeeclothing.com) are giving us a very generous discount on all of our uniform orders in return for some promotion and feedback. Zone are by far the most reasonably priced Ultimate uniforms we have been able to find anywhere, and they are so friendly and provide great mock-ups of what the uniforms will look like.

BUB: So do you think Lookfly will be announcing a deal with the Buggers soon then?

LWB: Well as an unnamed Lookfly rep put it “You just can’t compete with Vietnamese labour costs.”, which is very true. I do have some insider info (from being on the inside) that the Buggers have already been given some generous deal with Lookfly due to their association with a certain rep that will remain nameless in this post.

BUB: So does the new Club have a President and some other positions yet?

LWB: After a heavy recruiting drive, the Cobras were very lucky in securing the services of Firestorm’s very own treasurer. Other than that, it is pretty much run like any other BPL team: decision made, decision passed on.

BUB: Is that a dig at some of the disorganisation that occasionally infests some BPL Clubs?

LWB: Well all I will say is that I hope we don’t end up having the disorganisation of forfeiting games, you can take that as a swipe if you like. But then again, no one plans on forfeits.

BUB: And how does one get selected upon the Cobra team?

LWB: The selection process was very specific. Emails were sent to the parties that we considered essential to make up our team of fearless Cobras. Unfortunately, all of these people said no and we ended up with the roster that we have today. Still, not a bad looking bunch of blokes, let’s just hope they can play Ultimate too.

BUB: Is it true that everyone had to pass a ‘slithering’ test?

LWB: Yes, all players had to be comfortable laying out. This is why Jangles wasn’t considered.

BUB: I see you’ve got a new internet presence also?

LWB: Yes indeed we do. Following in the footsteps of fellow BPL clubs the Buggers and, later but much more successfully, the Dojo, the Cobras have a blog right around the corner from you. To open the site, we have included a break-down of our roster in order to intimidate the opposition. The blog can be found at http://cobras-ultimate.blogspot.com

BUB: Aha – so you’re revealing all of your secrets early!

LWB: Not all of them.

BUB: I see you’ve recruited JJ. Are you insane?

LWB: Insane in the membrane, baby.

BUB: Any words for your future opponents in the BPL?

LWB: Suck my venom, lowly rodents!

BUB: Thanks for your time, Venom-nose, I mean Wet-fang, I mean. Ah screw it.